


Valentine's Surprise

by Wordsplat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-14
Updated: 2013-02-14
Packaged: 2017-11-29 06:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/683736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordsplat/pseuds/Wordsplat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve gets an interesting surprise on Valentine's Day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Valentine's Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> All but the last pick-up line were originally found on tumblr/the interwebs, and are not my own.

At first, it was cute.

A bit confusing, perhaps, but cute.

_Are you google? Because you have everything I'm searching for._

Steve wasn't entirely sure how the valentine had gotten on his bed, since he'd been in the shower less than ten minutes and he was certain he'd locked his door, but he smiled regardless.

It was homemade with red and pink card paper, a picture of the google logo on the front and the words typed and glued to the inside. It wasn't signed, but it was obviously from one of his younger fans, cut and pasted together like that. One of the other Avengers must have already gone through the mail and put it on his bed, then. Steve went to tuck it into his side drawer when he spotted the second one. It was propped up by the door, blue with a picture of Nemo on the front, which made Steve curious. He'd just seen Finding Nemo two nights ago, and the only people who'd know that were the ones there, people like—

Steve felt his heart skip a beat before he caught himself.

It wasn't Tony. He knew it wasn't, and pretending otherwise would only disappoint. Steve shook his head to clear his thoughts, consider the situation rationally. Tony was straight; he'd brought enough women by the Tower in those first few months after his breakup with Pepper to make all of New York well aware of it. Tony had not left the cards. Thor and Jane were devoted to each other, not to mention off on a romantic weekend getaway at the moment, so they were both clearly out of the picture as well. Clint and Natasha weren't open about the specifics of their relationship, but Steve lived and worked with them and knew them both too not to know there was certainly  _something_ there. Bruce was still in love with his high school girlfriend, though he'd had to leave her to do what was right; he and Steve had had enough conversations about it that Steve to felt quite comfortable ruling the doctor out as well.

That left Pepper and Darcy. Darcy _had_ always been quite interested in feeling him up every chance she got...but Jane was always quite quick to laugh, dismiss her behavior as "Darcy being Darcy". Darcy claimed it was because she would consider herself a "failure as a hot-blooded woman" if she didn't. Steve had never thought of it as a sign of anything more, but he supposed it was possible, he'd never been very good at reading women.

Pepper…well, it was possible, but awkward on a number of levels. They'd become somewhat friendly these past few months, though not in any direct sort of way. After Pepper and Tony's breakup Tony had spiraled, and it had been Steve who'd picked up the pieces. Pepper and Steve had begun to talk, short phone calls and a couple of emails, mainly over Tony's well-being. She'd helped him manage Tony's drunken episodes and attempts to push him away, he'd helped her have the space from Tony she needed while still knowing he was being looked after. They talked often, true, but rarely about anything unrelated to Tony. Tony and Pepper had reformed their friendship and were thicker than thieves again, but Steve and Pepper continued to talk. At first it was a bit out of obligation, but Steve had come to enjoy their chats. She helped him understand Tony better, and he was grateful for that.

But.

Not quite  _love_ grateful.

She couldn't really…?

Steve approached the second valentine cautiously, one hand still keeping his towel up.

_This valentine's day, I know what butt I want to touch._

Steve blushed and quickly closed the card, as if someone might read it over his shoulder. He tucked it away in his drawer with the other one, going to get changed and thinking of the valentine's puzzle all the while. Pepper wasn't usually quite so…blunt. She certainly had a sense of humor, and it could occasionally be much dirtier than he'd ever have expected from a lady—hard to work with Tony Stark for a decade without a sense of humor though, he supposed—but this seemed a bit more abrupt than her usual style. Perhaps it was Darcy after all? She  _was_  always leering at him.

He toweled off his hair as he stepped into the hallway, intending to go down for breakfast, and nearly groaned out loud.

There was another one, sitting innocently outside his door.

_Are you a magician? Because Abracadayum you're fine._

This one was purple, and had a winking magician on the front. Steve was about to turn around and put it in his room, when he spotted another. This time, he couldn't resist the groan. He picked up the magician card and headed down the hallway, stopping at the latest card. It was green, and the front had a picture of an old lady on the ground. Confused and somewhat wary, Steve bent to pick up, opened it.

_Help! I've fallen for you and I can't get up._

Steve remained confused for a long minute, before he remembered the commercial Tony had insisted he watch a month or so ago. Tony had spent weeks afterwards trying to get him to wear a LifeAlert necklace, and, failing that, tried to get Steve a job as the spokesperson declaring that all senior citizens should have LifeAlert. Steve smiled at the old joke, then paused to wonder. Could that mean…? No, surely plenty of people had seen that commercial. It was why Tony had made him watch it in the first place; it was a reference, a modern day joke, one of the millions Tony was trying to teach him.

_Keep it together, Rogers._

He sighed and pressed the button for the elevator. When the doors opened with a ding a bright orange valentine awaited him, a picture of Dracula on the front. Steve flipped it open idly.

_Are you a vampire? Because you should suck me._

Steve startled, snapping the card closed instantly. This was getting ridiculous. He pressed the button for the shared floor with a bit more force than necessary; he needed to eat something if he was going to deal with this. When the doors dinged open, there was one sitting in wait for him, this one yellow with some typed words and a picture of a rose on the front.

_Roses are red, but sometimes they're thorny. When you're around, I get pretty..._

Oh God, not on the communal floor. If the others caught sight of this, he would never live it down—

… _corny. I know what you were thinking. Shame on you, Spangles ;)_

Steve sighed, flicking the card closed with a huff. Who could blame him for thinking something else after the last one? Come to think of that last one…belatedly, certain anatomical facts occurred to Steve. For there to be  _sucking_ involved, wouldn't his valentine have to be male? Therefore, not Darcy or Pepper. Therefore…

Steve tried to put it out of his mind for the moment, at least until he could get something to eat. His metabolism required an insane amount of food, and until he ate breakfast he could at least blame his silly hope on lack of proper nutritio-

_Oh, God._

The kitchen was a disaster zone, plates and bowls and ingredients everywhere. There was a stack of burnt pancakes on the counter and a couple on the floor, a heaping bowl of scrambled eggs that was dangerously close to falling off the edge, and the toast still jammed in the toaster looked like it might be catching fire. Tony was in the middle of it all, trying to flip a pancake and put out the toaster fire at the same time.

"Uh," was about the only sound Steve could manage.

"Shit!" Tony swore, dropping the spatula to spin around and stare at Steve, "Why are you out of the shower already?"

"I shower fast?" Steve blinked at his surroundings. "Tony, what in—?"

"No, no, the table, look at the table." Tony pushed him in the right direction, talking a mile a minute, "I was going to surround it with, like, food and stuff cause your metabolism is freaky and you eat like a starving caveman after your runs and maybe if you saw food you might be more inclined to say yes, plus, Pepper said providing food for someone is, I don't know, romantic, or something. Fuck if I know, just read the table—"

"Tony, is that syrup?"

"What? Yeah, I guess it's—"

"Why is there syrup on the table?"

"Did you read what it—"

"Did you  _write on the table with syrup,_ why would— _"_

"Okay, yes, in hindsight I probably should have used ketchup, or something—"

"Ketchup would stain too, why would you write on the table with _any_  kind of food—"

"Okay! I'll buy another table already, would you just read the syrup?"

_Roses are red, violets are blue, this is me, trying to court you_

"Tony," and okay, Steve's voice was the littlest bit strangled as he held up the cards he'd collected on his way down, "These were… _you?"_

"Who'd you think it was?" Tony sounded somewhat put out.

"Not…" Steve couldn't help the hint of a blush. "I don't know, I didn't want to assume."

"Right, well, an answer or something would be good, because, I mean, don't get me wrong, you being bashful is all kinds of adorable, but I don't know if this is a yes-bashful or a no-bashful and I paid all the others to be gone all day so I'm going to be honest, if you say—"

"Yes."

"—no tomorrow is going to be all kinds of awk—wait." Tony quirked his head, looking incredibly confused. "Yes?"

"Yes."

" _Yes,_ yes?"

"Is there another kind of yes?"

"Well, no, I just don't think I actually considered that you might—"

Steve leaned in, took hold of Tony's wildly gesticulating hands, and effectively shut him up.


End file.
